I’ve been listening to YouTube a lot – TED talks, TEDX, Tony Robbins, Mastin Kipp, Marie Forleo, and more!  I’ve been trying to pump my subconscious with information and positivity.  Especially around money and self-esteem/confidence.
I realized as I had my older daughter E on the phone via the school nurse, and she apologized for not feeling well, that something is very wrong… I laughed half-heartedly and said not to be sorry that she doesn’t feel well, it is what it is.  But it struck me – how much I apologize for things that I really have no control over, and yet I weenie out of the things that I do.
Last night, hubby and I had a “moment” where he was talking about the boys (my oldest 2 stepsons) and how he wasn’t going to go bankrupt taking care of them.  It struck me that I had basically done that in both my first marriage, and this one.  I allowed myself to become financially and emotionally bankrupt.  As my plan is including tiny-house living and being debt-free, I wonder what room there will be for a partner.
The only regret I have truly is not learning to be OK being alone.  I’ve never lived alone – I moved right in with my boyfriend (who became husband #1) right out of high school.  Even after we split, I moved between a friends and my parents homes.  I believe that contributes to my sense of over-in-co-dependence.  Yes, that’s a made up word – but it’s a pretty valid definition!
I’m grateful for this outlet to express my gratitude and thoughts and opinions… and I hope some value comes to all readers of this blog.
To confidence!

Erin Hill is a writer, speaker, and healer. She resides on the Eastern Shore of Maryland with her husband and children, who are her greatest teachers. She is currently working on her first book.

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