Sometimes it takes a powerful kick in the booty to wake us up… I’ve been enjoying (and maybe stressing a bit) about a course I’ve been taking. I was so grateful to receive a scholarship and participate with a best-selling author, coach, and business person. The last few weeks have had me turning in circles! I’ve come to recognize that my healing has to start with ME. Paired with recent news of a wonderful person I just saw a few weeks ago being killed in a car crash, I realize too that there’s no expiration date.
We don’t have any idea when, or where, or how our lives will cease as we know them. That could be death, or massive changes – a diagnosis, an infidelity, a birth. Really, even a seemingly small thing could have lasting effects. If I compare my trauma to another persons, it would very quickly become a pissing match. Maybe not by the other person, but definitely by me. A part of me is constantly comparing myself to others, or even the person I “used to be”.
No one is going to wave a magic wand and show me “who I am”. I’m going to have to figure that out for myself. I have plenty of vehicles to find my way – physical activity, yoga/meditation, crocheting (ok that’s not the best example), but you get the point. The only way I can figure out what I like, and what I don’t is by giving it a try. Like when my kids were little – and trying some new food – just take a bite – if you don’t like it, you can spit it out.
I know so far, that I like the thought of travelling, of speaking and sharing, of writing, and painting pictures for readers with words. I see myself working with women who need a boost with self-esteem, relationships, and sex. (You know, they say what you’re drawn to is what you need some help with too…) I’m ready to get raw, and vulnerable, and start taking bites. And if I don’t like them, I can spit them out. But I don’t have to stop trying new things…
Here’s to a bit of uncertainty!