I didn’t win the lotto, but…

I didn’t win the Mega Millions.

Yes, a part of me is a bit disappointed. However, the other part of me is quite content.  Nothing like not having to make you grateful for what you have.  This gratitude has been popping up quite a bit lately. I’ve made a choice (which really means a continuous string of choices) to seek out the positive/beauty/contentment in my life.

Except, there’s one thing I’m struggling with:

My “JOB”.  It used to be a career; a major part of my identity; my priority. Now, not so much. It’s my reminder that I’ve entered into contracts in order to “have” versus “do”.  It’s no fun to work just to pay for things we’ve already obligated ourselves to.  Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to up and quit, or anything rash.

But, I’m going to make a plan.

This plan will include DOING things, and MAKING memories, not having stuff. For so long, I’ve based my self-worth on outside sources. Many of us do. It’s the house we live in, the car we drive, the brand of purse or clothes, or shoes.  But this isn’t where the worth lies.

The worth – it’s in the soul.

I’m still working on this part of my plan. It’s scary as all get out. I was the certain one. The responsible one. The one that made the safe choices. Now I’m looking forward to homeschooling and working as a public speaker, writer, and healer of souls. What the HECK? That BS I got – it’s BS.  I’m working to pay for a degree that I don’t necessarily use. I’m living in a house that’s big (almost too big) enough for all of us to be in separate rooms (or more realistically, separate worlds – ironically – “social” media).

I want to start NOW!

I’m making small steps to advance my income streams – crochet project anyone? I have plenty of skills (and bills) and a soul that’s searching to heal others – requiring a delicate balance between certainty and uncertainty.

What do you think?  Let’s chat!

What’s the healing that your soul needs? Maybe it’s a walk? Perhaps just a seat in the backyard listening to whatever your backyard sounds like… regardless, we all need some healing.

Much love and lots of (((hugs)))

Erin Hill is a writer, speaker, and healer. She resides on the Eastern Shore of Maryland with her husband and children, who are her greatest teachers. She is currently working on her first book.

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