Oftentimes, especially as wives and mothers, we feel like our contributions to our homes, families, careers, etc. is lost in the shuffle. Here are 7 things to remember when you feel unseen:
Everything you do – matters.
Each and every thing that you do – or don’t do – matters. For example – over the weekend I used the duster thingy and swept an embarrassing amount of cobwebs off the ceilings/corners of my house. These cobwebs hadn’t been swept in who-know-how-long – and had gradually built up. No one really noticed it – until we changed a light bulb. EEK! Did anyone notice that I swept the webs? Not necessarily. Did they notice when I didn’t – yes… The point is – Think of it as a ripple…
You are part of a grand machine, and without your gifts, the machine would cease to work.
We live in a system of systems. We have home systems, work systems, family systems, extended family systems, and we all have our places. If you opened a watch (I mean like a “real” watch – with cogs and all) and saw how each small piece had a job – and without it, the watch wouldn’t work – you could see what I mean. That’s not to say that we are just cogs in a watch – we are unique souls. But the concept is the same. This world wouldn’t be the same without YOU. Exactly how YOU are.
You have a contribution to the systems of your life that can not be replaced.
See #2. Sure, I could get someone to come in and clean my cobwebs – (my word – that’s on my list of “I made it” things to purchase!) but would they do it the same way I would? Heck no! You could get someone else to walk your dog, or maybe you have to get someone to provide child care. But without YOU – it just wouldn’t be the same.
There are only 60 minutes in an hour – even the darkest ones.
This is really important… Sometimes the storms of our lives feel like they will never pass. They do though – eventually. It may be an hour from hell when your kid is screaming her head off for no apparent reason (this was my younger daughter for the first few months). Maybe you have a night from hell when your kids are sick, and you are too – and you just want to get a little sleep, but the bathroom won’t let you… Maybe you’re in the midst of a breakup or divorce, or death in the family. These dark times do not last forever. And your presence matters.
You always have choices.
Your choices may be between a rock and a hard place, but you always have choices. They will not always be easy – sometimes you have to choose between the Godiva chocolates (ACK – the misery). When you go with your intuition though, you can never be wrong. When you’re feeling unseen – remember – you have choices. Decide your next steps/actions/words actively.
Too much time on the pity pot leaves a ring around your ass.
I’m surprised I don’t have a permanent indent… I spent YEARS in the woe is me, I am a victim, so many people/places/things are against me – space. The pity pot is fine – and you have every right (and choice – see #5) to sit there all day, all week, all freaking year if you want. But it will leave a ring. And if you’re sitting on the pity pot, it’s hard to stand up and speak up for yourself.
Your Higher Power sees.
My grandmother gave me a book once – called “When Only God Sees”. It was about the men who crafted a great cathedral, and even the intricate cuts waaaaaaaay at the top, where no man (or woman) would ever see the details were made with great care. When asked why all the details – no one would see them – one of the people responded “because God sees”. I’m not an overly religious person, so I’ll go with Higher Power for this. Your Higher Power sees you. Your Higher Power sees Everything. And so do your kids.
You are seen. You are amazing. You are enough.
Looking for a coach to help you unwrap the gift you are to this world? Let’s chat! Contact me today.