Ok, so I have 3 kids, plus 4 stepkids.
Yes, you read that correctly. I called us the ghetto brady bunch for a while. When you have such a wide array of personalities, backgrounds, not to mention multiple non-custodial parents and you’re trying to keep your shit together, it can be a challenge.
Here’s 5 things I’ve learned as a mom:
1. The curse is real.
You know – the one where your parent(s) go – “One day you’ll have one just like you”. That shit is no joke. Compounded with social media – and you’ve got all the fixings for a real coronary. I apologize to my mother on the regular, hoping that the karmic energy will clear up. I wasn’t a bad kid, just made some not-so-smart choices. Glad I made it thru relatively unscathed, but when you have one of your own (either biologically or from the heart) that is going thru drama and boy-stuff, not to mention when they’re married and have kids of their own – well, you want better for them. And it’s stressful! Like they say – behind every kid is a mom who’s pretty sure she’s screwing it up. Luckily – we have support and can reach out. (And you should if you have questions or concerns – don’t suffer in silence!)
2. They need to be able to talk to someone – who is NOT you.
Look, we’d all like to think that we have these awesome relationships with our kids and that we’re so open and want them to come to us with everything that’s going on in their lives. From the kid on the playground in Kindergarten to the guy who won’t leave them alone on Facebook in high school or college. We want nothing more than to protect our babies from the evils of the world. But think about it – how much did you withhold from your parents? I’m sure there were some things that just weren’t dinner table conversation. Invite people into your child’s life who are good citizens, honest people who will guide them. Bonus points if they keep you in the loop on the down low 🙂
3. It’s hard being a parent.
You would think, after 3,000 years or something, that there would be comprehensive instruction manuals. The thing is, every situation is unique and different. I do believe that you and your kids are put together for a reason. Not only are you your child’s first teacher, but they are your greatest. I’ve learned more from my kids about myself, then I think I’ve taught them! I’ve realized the importance of being a parent vs a friend, that kids are different (period. Out of the 7 no two are exactly alike), and that it may take some shifts in style to connect with each one. Yes, you will think you’re screwing it up. But you really aren’t. The fact that you’re worried about screwing it up means you’re on the right track 🙂
4. You have to stay strong, but you have to be flexible too.
I don’t just mean not laughing when your kid drops a cuss word, or not flying off the handle when they spill something on the new rug. I mean that you are basically teaching them how to adult. So, if they need a consequence, follow through. Is it hard? Absolutely. Is it easier to give in and let them have cereal for dinner because they don’t like corn because it’s Sunday and they don’t eat corn on Sunday (yes, that is a real life example). Sure. And maybe they eat cereal that night. But not every night. Balance is your friend.
5. (I threw in a BONUS) -It’s worth it.
’nuff said. 🙂
Over to you! What’s the one thing you’ve learned from your (or other peoples) kids? Leave a comment, or email me, I’d love to hear!
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