How often to you immediately jump to the worst-case scenario?
We tend to leap to the worst outcome – as moms – that’s why it scares the bejeebies out of us when Daddy tosses our fragile baby 3 miles into the air. (At least 3 miles – I swear.) That’s why we give hubby the 3rd degree when he’s late coming home (he’s either dead somewhere or having an affair – I just know it). That’s why when our teen starts talking to us about (really) anything we turn it into a life lesson.
Being responsible for other humans is quite nerve-wracking.
There’s a crap ton of info about fear, and how it’s evolved from the days when we had to watch our backs for mastodons and sabre-tooth tigers, and back then – well by golly you’d better believe it was a good thing to be scared of all. the. things.
Today though, there’s no large animals waiting to claim us for lunch. There’s no neighboring tribe coming to rape and pillage our homes and steal our children to be slaves. (*there are very real dangers, I know – but roll with me here – I’m taking this somewhere really good)
Many times – the fear we feel is an illusion.
I’m not talking about obvious fear – like a really life threatening or altering situation. I’m talking about the little things… the things that are just scary enough to keep us in our boxes. The things that keep us in jobs we hate, dealing with clutter in our homes because we’re trying to keep up with people we really don’t care for, and allowing systems to remain broken because we aren’t really sure how to fix them.
Take this here blog – I write every week, I get deep and vulnerable – probably get a smile or laugh because of my snarky sense of humor – but it’s super scary to put yourself out there like I do.
How do you beat it?
You just DO IT. Do it scared. Do it when you aren’t totally ready. What comes to mind (although a bit traumatic in retrospect) was being pushed into a pool by an older cousin before feeling confident in my swimming abilities. You figure it out. Sputtering and cussing and flailing about – you do what it takes to get the thing done.
Play “What If?”.
My hubby says whenever he has a choice – he plays it all the way through. This can be a great tip when things are scary. Say you’re faced with a choice – run Choice A all the way through – think of as many possibilities as you can – then do the same for Choice B. One will inevitably feel ‘right’. (That would be your intuition). Try it with something easy like repainting a room – think it all the way through – will the color match the decor you already have? Will it be the ambiance you want for the room? Will it make you want to move when you walk past it? Every. Last. Detail.
It takes some courage.
You aren’t going to just know what to do, or the “how” to do it – I’m sure I’ve made (and will make many more) mistakes according to other blogging and coaches. But the way I see it – it’s a lot like parenting. There’s lots of info out there – but you kinda have to muddle around and find your own way that works for you. But keep showing up. That’s the real key!
When you stay stuck, you stay stuck.
No one can un-stick you but YOU. At some point, the thought of staying the same will drive you bananas and you’ll be ready to change. You’ll go after that dream job, you’ll start doing that hobby you’ve always wanted to do, you’ll lose that last freaking 10 pounds and love the body you’re in.
You have the power of choice my love – you always have, and you always will.
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