Just about every morning (on school days) I have to repeat myself a million times to get the kiddoes up and ready and out the door. With 3 kids, they are all at different stages developmentally, and have varied personalities.
A common theme for us lately has been around responsibility.
When asked if one could stay home “just for today” (which is at least once a week), I find myself saying the same thing in a few different ways. Mommy doesn’t want to go to jail, you will miss the secrets of the universe that they’re teaching you today in public school, and the ever popular
“responsible people do what they’re supposed to do regardless of if they FEEL like it”.
As they get older, their arguments become more intriguing. They are quite the advocates for a mental health day, and even question why I don’t just take a day off (from my ‘regular’ job). I almost caved to the idea of letting one stay home because she said she’d clean! Which has gotten me thinking…
Why do we spend so much time doing the things we HAVE to do versus the things we WANT to do?
In our family’s case, it’s because of taking on too much. If we hadn’t made some of the financial decisions we’ve made, we wouldn’t be bill-poor (another thing responsible people do – they pay their bills, right?). I’m sure part of that is learned from our own families, but some is the burden of what society says we ‘should’ do.
What exactly am I teaching my kids?
Am I expecting them to bear the same burdens ‘because that’s what responsible people do’? Am I modeling to them that making self-care a priority is a rule? Or that you have to maintain the status quo? I’m starting to see my role as mom (and coach!) as one for teaching balance – and I’m integrating these practices in my own life, too. I believe experiences have way more value than things.
As I fill my list of experiences yet to be had, I see oceans, and mountains, and lakes, and trees – lots of nature, lots of quiet, and lots of writing. Do I feel a bit guilty that there’s no hubs or kids in this dream? Maybe a little, but I also know in my bones that self-care is crucial. It brings to mind that old saying “happy wife, happy life” 🙂
P.S. I’ve also come to realize that as a parent – if you’re questioning if you’re doing it right, then you probably ARE! <3
If money or other responsibilities were out of the equation, what would you do?
A weekend retreat? A family day at a theme park? Dinner and a movie? A spa day? Tell me all about it!
And, as always, I’m here to serve. How can I help you? Let’s chat about it. Schedule your complimentary coaching call here.