Knowing vs No-ing
coaching communication family positivity self care Self Help

Knowing vs No-ing

There’s a lot of things we know we “should” do, or “shouldn’t” do, right?  Like eat well, get physical activity, take it easy on the alcohol, and not to smoke…

We KNOW that we should say NO to things that aren’t for our greatest good.

But it’s hard dammit.

I KNOW that when I eat well (meaning I steer clear or limit sugar and flour) I FEEL well.   Not so much like a big ole blob.  I feel clear and lean and my mind is sharp.  But knowing I need to stay away from my powdery white substances of choice, and No-ing are 2 very different things.  

I’m pretty sure I have been an emotional eater since like 5th grade.  But dang if it doesn’t seem harder to ignore it now.  Not just because I feel like my jeans are the latest torture device, or that I feel things jiggling even when I’ve stopped moving… but those “should” be enough – right?

What about the fact that the number on the scale gets to a certain point and I binge?

Welcome to self-sabotage…

A part of me is afraid to reach that goal weight.  What if I draw too much attention to myself?  What if I start getting hit on? What if I act on any temptations I may have (especially if I’m in my head because hubs isn’t paying attention to me, etc…)?  What if I have to buy a bunch of new clothes? What about my favorite fat jeans?

Part of me LIKES being fat. (and I’m not going to debate if I’m fat or not – that’s not the point of the post dammit) I receive protection from it.  I don’t get too much attention from other men, other woman won’t see me as a threat, and my elastic waists are more forgiving than jeans ever will be.

But it still sucks.

Because I KNOW I’m made to have a healthy body. And a healthy body is not one that is obese. That eats bread directly from an italian loaf. That is experiencing digestive and mental health issues and high blood pressure.

I KNOW what I need to do. But it’s scary.

All the what-ifs come to mind and then the shame of all kinds of things pours in – like how “Everybody” says you should look a certain way, eat a certain way, feel a certain way (like never hurting).  But folks – here’s a bomb for ya – When something hurts, it hurts.

When something hurts, it hurts.

And when something hurts, we want it to stop hurting.

And until we deal with it, we will try our best to numb out


I’m getting a bit better about seeing pain for what it’s for – a compass.  Something to draw attention to a part of me that needs healing.  Sometimes it’s pretty obvious (like when I just about took my finger off on a mandolin slicer).  Sometimes not so much.  Like when loaves of bread are involved.


Maybe for you its bread. Or drugs/alcohol. Or shitty relationships…. or saying sorry or yes when it’s not necessary…

Either way – it’s all one root issue.

And it may not reveal itself fully for a while…  

Mine – is all rooted in NOT ENOUGH-NESS.

I’m working on saying NO to that part of me that tells me I’m not good enough. I know my journey includes learning how to love and accept myself fully and sharing my process with others (like you).

I’m starting to stress out about the holidays, my oldest daughter is going to college in the Fall and there’s all the stress around that… And of course my business, which I’ve come to realize has drug up SO MUCH stuff for me to heal. (Like that not enoughness bullshit.)

I had an emotional purge last week, and I’m quite ready for a physical purge of the crap we’ve accumulated over the years. Our thoughts create our environment.  So it’s time to clear the crap.  Physically, emotionally, etc.

How about you? What crap do YOU need to clear?

What do you KNOW you need to say NO to?

Boundaries are always a good thing when it comes to taking care of YOU. Saying NO to something you don’t want to do, or don’t have the mental capacity to do for others is saying YES to YOU.

Being in the midst of holidays and family dynamics (not to mention grief and regret for who’s not around), it’s a prime time to regroup.

This is usually where resolutions come into play – but mine usually don’t last a week or so…  How about yours? I’d love to know if you have resolutions, if you stick to them, and/or what this post has brought up for you!!  Leave a comment below!

If you want some help in maintaining consistency with support and accountability -I’d love for you to join me for the Weekly Wrap Up! A free virtual meet up!  Join here.

Real Solutions is coming soon!!  Be sure to subscribe to my emails so you know all the details as soon as they’re released. This is definitely something you’re going to want to say YES to! 

Erin Hill is a writer, speaker, and healer. She resides on the Eastern Shore of Maryland with her husband and children, who are her greatest teachers. She is currently working on her first book.

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