Patience is a virtue
coaching parenting self care Self Help

Patience is a virtue

Patience is something I struggle with.

I tend to want something, and want it right then.  I make a plan, prepare for as many variables as possible, then get pissed off when it doesn’t go ‘my’ way.  Inevitably something happens and it boggles my best laid plans. Weather, or someone’s attitude, traffic, or any number of things can interject on my carefully designed image and muck it up.  Then I’m stuck thinking about how miserable it is, and wondering why I keep making plans when I know that 99.9999% of the time something is going to get wonky.

Sound familiar?

I’m not sure if it’s maturity of pushing 40, with my kiddoes getting more independent (didn’t say they liked it) and/or me working on myself in so many ways, but I’m finding more patience. It takes a fair amount of conscious effort to practice patience, though. To practice that pause and ask “How important is it really?”.  Is it really the end of the world that the shoes aren’t put in the right place, or that the dishes didn’t get put away? I have to tell myself every time I go grocery shopping that it’s ok if it takes an hour, I have a list and everyone else just wants to get their stuff and go home too.

Doesn’t mean it’s easy.

Especially in the grocery store example… I try to focus on being able to shop without littles throwing crap in my cart or begging for some kind of junk food or toy, instead of the clerk who is taking f.o.r.e.v.e.r. to ring up the items of the person in front of me.

But it IS simple.

We’re conditioned to think that everything needs to be instant gratification. We get news, sports, memes, and anything else we want with a touch of the screen.  When our wifi is being slow, we get impatient wondering what the heck is taking so long. Everything is accessible within the blink of an eye.

Like so many other things in life, some of the good stuff takes time.

I hear wine gets better with age, and some cheeses… I’d like to believe I’m getting better with age too. In some ways at least (but that’s another post).

As I watch my kids get older (my oldest daughter Emma is graduating from high school in a month!!) I can see how firstly, my parents deserve a special place in heaven. I wasn’t the easiest kid to deal with in my late high school years. I’ve adapted my parenting based on what I learned in my family, and through personal development work.

I will say that I’ve always done my best, as did my parents, and their parents before them.  The basis of my work with women is to heal those wounds that aren’t their fault, but is their responsibility to heal.  I believe in epigenetics, and soul contracts. I’m still not sure why I signed up for this specific incarnation, but more to be revealed, as always 🙂

We didn’t get where we are overnight, so it’s not going to be ‘fixed’ as quickly.

Just because you can get just about anything you want without much work (and hey – my Roomba is an absolute godsend!) like meals delivered, next-day shipping, automatic downloads, etc… doesn’t mean the best stuff is.

You CAN make immediate shifts though!

Practicing gratitude and reflecting on how far you’ve come is a great way to flip that mindset into the positive in the NOW. But it’s not just a one-and-done type thing.  You have to practice! You have to keep doing it over and over and over again until it becomes second nature.

It’s easy to fall into habits like eating crap (hello twizzlers!) and talking badly to ourselves (letting Nelly run the show) – it takes practice to get into the better habits.  Like being proud of ourselves for how far we’ve come, for affirming all of the good shiz about ourselves. Like being proud of OTHERS who are rocking it in the area you’re still struggling in.

Practice means progress.

Screw the whole “practice makes perfect” bullshit. There is no perfect. But there’s ALWAYS progress.

This week –

Where can you celebrate your progress?  Where could you practice some patience?

I’d love to hear from you if you have a tip or trick that’s helped you, or if you have a story about how you’ve gotten better with time. Leave a comment or shoot me an email to let me know!

Speaking of progress – one of The Four Agreements is to always do your best. Join The Book Club to read (or re-read) this awesome read with a group of like-minded peeps in an exclusive Facebook group, with a PDF workbook sent right to your email! We start May 1, so don’t delay!

Erin Hill is a writer, speaker, and healer. She resides on the Eastern Shore of Maryland with her husband and children, who are her greatest teachers. She is currently working on her first book.

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