addiction coaching communication self care Self Help

Feel Like You’ve Lost Yourself in Your Relationship? Read this!

It can be easy to lose yourself and become entangled or enmeshed in the one we love. When you love an addict/alcoholic though, it’s a big problem when you want nothing more than the other person’s happiness, and put that above (or at the expense of) your own happiness. I have gone without to makeContinue Reading “Feel Like You’ve Lost Yourself in Your Relationship? Read this!”

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When you feel like you’re going crazy…

Do you feel like you’re going crazy and you don’t know what’s true anymore?  Do you feel like you’re just going and going and not getting anything done? Like you’re spinning your wheels? Like it’s a lot of work, but no fruition? You know what I mean – you’re burning yourself out to take careContinue Reading “When you feel like you’re going crazy…”

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WHY do I spy on my partner?

Why do I spy on my partner? Ah, the joys of being the wife of an addict/alcoholic.  The lies, and deceit, and not sure what to believe. Chasing them, and/or the truth, and sometimes not believing either of them.   In some ways, we are like Magnum PI (am I showing my age here?) andContinue Reading “WHY do I spy on my partner?”

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Characteristics of Codependency

Characteristics of Codependency Addiction doesn’t discriminate, neither does codependency or feelings of unworthiness / not being good enough and wanting to lose yourself (even if it’s unconsciously) in others.  I’m on the journey too – just a few steps ahead since my hubs has 6 years clean. I’d say the last 3 years I’ve beenContinue Reading “Characteristics of Codependency”

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Who helps YOU?

As wives and mothers, we have an expectation that we can “handle it”.   It would seem that those around us know that as well. We are the glue that keeps our households running. We are the doers of all of the things – laundry, dinner, homework, appointments, job/career, kids… it’s exhausting.  Have you seenContinue Reading “Who helps YOU?”

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Self worth – What’s your price tag?

Where’s the first place you go when you need to shop? Stay with me here – the first place I go when I shop is the clearance rack. I like to find bargains and deals. I’ve bought things that I didn’t necessarily like, or fit particularly well (i.e. too big/small) because they didn’t have myContinue Reading “Self worth – What’s your price tag?”

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You can detach without leaving

Detach – it’s not really a concrete thing… I knew the people in the rooms would tell me to detach. Detach with love they’d say. Focus on you. Repeat the Serenity Prayer and realize the only thing you have the ability to change is yourself. It was all so abstract though.  I just wanted someoneContinue Reading “You can detach without leaving”

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Resentments

I’m sure you’ll agree- a woman can hold a resentment.   We are built to remember all the things.  Our minds take in everything around us.  I’m pretty sure my uterus doubles as a homing device, because if someone can’t find something, I can usually tell them where they left it. We carry the mental load,Continue Reading “Resentments”

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The love/hate relationship with codependency

Codependency is something you hear a lot about in 12 step programs and groups for loved ones of alcoholics/addicts There’s books (Melodie Beatty’s Codependent No More being one of them) written about the subject. How to define codependency, how to determine if you’re codependent, how to “fix” it. It’s been my experience that it’s neverContinue Reading “The love/hate relationship with codependency”

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Getting back to basics : The ABC’s of Recovery

Let’s get back to basics!   2018 for me is going to be about getting back to the basics, and I’d love to share that with you.  So many things are WAY more complicated than they really have to be.  If you’ve seen any elementary math lately, you know what I mean! There’s more fluffContinue Reading “Getting back to basics : The ABC’s of Recovery”