addiction coaching communication family parenting positivity self care Self Help

People Pleaser? or Codependent?

What’s the difference between people pleasing and codependency?  A lot of times, people will say they are a people pleaser, but they don’t necessarily identify as being codependent. In my research, and in my life experience, I have found there is no difference. It’s just a little nicer way to say it when you say “i’mContinue Reading “People Pleaser? or Codependent?”

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What if rehab doesn’t fix everything?

99.9% of people think that you send your loved one to rehab and they come back ‘fixed’. Life will just be sunshine and rainbows….right?  If they stop ____ then life will be _____ – I don’t blame them – I did too! See, when he was using, he was never home. But when he cameContinue Reading “What if rehab doesn’t fix everything?”

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Feel Like You’ve Lost Yourself in Your Relationship? Read this!

It can be easy to lose yourself and become entangled or enmeshed in the one we love. When you love an addict/alcoholic though, it’s a big problem when you want nothing more than the other person’s happiness, and put that above (or at the expense of) your own happiness. I have gone without to makeContinue Reading “Feel Like You’ve Lost Yourself in Your Relationship? Read this!”

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Characteristics of Codependency

Characteristics of Codependency Addiction doesn’t discriminate, neither does codependency or feelings of unworthiness / not being good enough and wanting to lose yourself (even if it’s unconsciously) in others.  I’m on the journey too – just a few steps ahead since my hubs has 6 years clean. I’d say the last 3 years I’ve beenContinue Reading “Characteristics of Codependency”

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Who helps YOU?

As wives and mothers, we have an expectation that we can “handle it”.   It would seem that those around us know that as well. We are the glue that keeps our households running. We are the doers of all of the things – laundry, dinner, homework, appointments, job/career, kids… it’s exhausting.  Have you seenContinue Reading “Who helps YOU?”

addiction coaching communication family Self Help

Self worth – What’s your price tag?

Where’s the first place you go when you need to shop? Stay with me here – the first place I go when I shop is the clearance rack. I like to find bargains and deals. I’ve bought things that I didn’t necessarily like, or fit particularly well (i.e. too big/small) because they didn’t have myContinue Reading “Self worth – What’s your price tag?”

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Resentments

I’m sure you’ll agree- a woman can hold a resentment.   We are built to remember all the things.  Our minds take in everything around us.  I’m pretty sure my uterus doubles as a homing device, because if someone can’t find something, I can usually tell them where they left it. We carry the mental load,Continue Reading “Resentments”

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The love/hate relationship with codependency

Codependency is something you hear a lot about in 12 step programs and groups for loved ones of alcoholics/addicts There’s books (Melodie Beatty’s Codependent No More being one of them) written about the subject. How to define codependency, how to determine if you’re codependent, how to “fix” it. It’s been my experience that it’s neverContinue Reading “The love/hate relationship with codependency”

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Transition through the mushy place

A transition through the mushy place isn’t easy – but it is simple. What’s the mushy place, you ask? I believe there’s a place when the caterpillar transitions – it stops ‘being’ a caterpillar and yet isn’t a butterfly either. I imagine it being a mushy place – where it’s both a caterpillar and aContinue Reading “Transition through the mushy place”