addiction coaching communication family parenting positivity self care Self Help

People Pleaser? or Codependent?

What’s the difference between people pleasing and codependency?  A lot of times, people will say they are a people pleaser, but they don’t necessarily identify as being codependent. In my research, and in my life experience, I have found there is no difference. It’s just a little nicer way to say it when you say “i’mContinue Reading “People Pleaser? or Codependent?”

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Love is not enough.

I thought I could fix him. I remember thinking on so many occasions when my husband was in active addition that if he loved me he’d quit using, or if he really loved our family than the wouldn’t steal from the kids, or pawn things, or do any of the other maddening things that oneContinue Reading “Love is not enough.”

addiction coaching communication self care Self Help

Feel Like You’ve Lost Yourself in Your Relationship? Read this!

It can be easy to lose yourself and become entangled or enmeshed in the one we love. When you love an addict/alcoholic though, it’s a big problem when you want nothing more than the other person’s happiness, and put that above (or at the expense of) your own happiness. I have gone without to makeContinue Reading “Feel Like You’ve Lost Yourself in Your Relationship? Read this!”

addiction coaching family positivity self care Self Help

When you feel like you’re going crazy…

Do you feel like you’re going crazy and you don’t know what’s true anymore?  Do you feel like you’re just going and going and not getting anything done? Like you’re spinning your wheels? Like it’s a lot of work, but no fruition? You know what I mean – you’re burning yourself out to take careContinue Reading “When you feel like you’re going crazy…”

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WHY do I spy on my partner?

Why do I spy on my partner? Ah, the joys of being the wife of an addict/alcoholic.  The lies, and deceit, and not sure what to believe. Chasing them, and/or the truth, and sometimes not believing either of them.   In some ways, we are like Magnum PI (am I showing my age here?) andContinue Reading “WHY do I spy on my partner?”

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Characteristics of Codependency

Characteristics of Codependency Addiction doesn’t discriminate, neither does codependency or feelings of unworthiness / not being good enough and wanting to lose yourself (even if it’s unconsciously) in others.  I’m on the journey too – just a few steps ahead since my hubs has 6 years clean. I’d say the last 3 years I’ve beenContinue Reading “Characteristics of Codependency”

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Who helps YOU?

As wives and mothers, we have an expectation that we can “handle it”.   It would seem that those around us know that as well. We are the glue that keeps our households running. We are the doers of all of the things – laundry, dinner, homework, appointments, job/career, kids… it’s exhausting.  Have you seenContinue Reading “Who helps YOU?”

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You can detach without leaving

Detach – it’s not really a concrete thing… I knew the people in the rooms would tell me to detach. Detach with love they’d say. Focus on you. Repeat the Serenity Prayer and realize the only thing you have the ability to change is yourself. It was all so abstract though.  I just wanted someoneContinue Reading “You can detach without leaving”

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Healing wounds from the past

Healing wounds from the past can be tricky. Do you have issues and baggage from your years gone by?  Those dang wounds will come sneaking up on you sometimes and when you least expect it – they can reach up and try to pull you back. I’ve had the opportunity to explore some of myContinue Reading “Healing wounds from the past”

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Indepen-dance

Happy 4th! There’s a bunch of posts about the birth of our nation, and I’m sure there are some that are going to get into the politics of it all…  But I wanted to focus on something a little different. Quick question – When’s the last time you experienced JOY? Joy is an emotion thatContinue Reading “Indepen-dance”