It can be easy to lose yourself and become entangled or enmeshed in the one we love. When you love an addict/alcoholic though, it’s a big problem when you want nothing more than the other person’s happiness, and put that above (or at the expense of) your own happiness. I have gone without to makeContinue Reading “Feel Like You’ve Lost Yourself in Your Relationship? Read this!”
Detach – it’s not really a concrete thing… I knew the people in the rooms would tell me to detach. Detach with love they’d say. Focus on you. Repeat the Serenity Prayer and realize the only thing you have the ability to change is yourself. It was all so abstract though. I just wanted someoneContinue Reading “You can detach without leaving”
I’m sure you’ll agree- a woman can hold a resentment. We are built to remember all the things. Our minds take in everything around us. I’m pretty sure my uterus doubles as a homing device, because if someone can’t find something, I can usually tell them where they left it. We carry the mental load,Continue Reading “Resentments”
Codependency is something you hear a lot about in 12 step programs and groups for loved ones of alcoholics/addicts There’s books (Melodie Beatty’s Codependent No More being one of them) written about the subject. How to define codependency, how to determine if you’re codependent, how to “fix” it. It’s been my experience that it’s neverContinue Reading “The love/hate relationship with codependency”
There are lots of plant references in life. There’s family trees, grass being greener on the other side of the fence, growing like a weed. You get the picture… One of the ones that has always been intriguing is “getting to the root of it”. “It” could be anything from a physical issue to mentalContinue Reading “Getting to the root of it”
I’m sure you’ve heard it said – “hurt people, hurt people”. If you’ve been reading my posts for any length of time, you know that shifting out of victim mode is ‘my thing’. I am a huge proponent of looking at things from another angle so as to gain confidence and power versus sitting onContinue Reading “Quietly Strong”
There’s a reason WHY you keep going. In some cases our why might just be “because I have to”. And that’s legit.
Asking for help can be hard As wives and mothers, I think we have been conditioned in a way to have an expectation that we can “handle it”. We multitask with the best of ’em. I’m pretty sure our uterus’ also serve as an internal homing device – because chances are, if someone is lookingContinue Reading “Help.”
You have the power to un-stick yourself. Scary? YES. Simple? YES. Worth it? YES!
Once the drinking’s done, there’s still work to come.